Every spring break for the last three years, to my husband’s terror, I’ve brought six-legged crawly insects indoors for the boys to observe and experience. It started in 2020 with a butterfly kit from one of my favorite brands featured in this post, where you can buy kits to raise insects from egg to to winged and ready to fly. The butterflies were a wonderful experience as we watched them emerge from cocoons and dry their wings. The boys named each one, drew pictures of them and happily released them in our backyard.

The Ant Farm

I couldn’t wait to do it again the following year, but wanted something a little different. We’d never had an ant farm before, so that’s what we chose. I ordered the kit and expected our ant farm to prosper with workers and eggs and a nursery in tunnels like a bustling underground city. When the ants arrived, however, the instructions revealed that the Department of Agriculture actually prevents shipping queen ants, and workers only live for a few weeks without them. Also, they were fire ants.

I followed the very detailed instructions for putting the fire ants into the habitat and we watched the workers dig tunnels and eat fruit and carry on. A couple weeks later, we watched some of them slowly die a lonely, queen-less death. Then, we watched as fellow workers carried off the dead and buried them in one spot outside their tunnel that we reluctantly dubbed “the cemetery.” When I couldn’t stand to witness any more harsh ant reality, we released them in a local park. Thankfully, we happen to live in the natural habitat of this particular ant. I’d like to think they were found wandering the desert and brought into a thriving colony, nursed back to health by a merciful queen.

The Praying Mantis

This year, I went back to the website and selected ladybugs as our annual insect learning experience. But, they were out of stock. So, I chose the next best thing- praying mantis! I imagined an adorable green insect sitting on some twigs and a leaf in its habitat, ready to be observed and studied. I selected two eggs, as I wanted to make sure we’d have at least one if one of the eggs failed. When the shipment arrived a day later, the instructions revealed one egg actually yields hundreds of praying mantises. Manti?

I could’ve tossed one of the eggs- or both- and made life a lot easier. Instead, I cared for the eggs as instructed, which turned out to require a lot more maintenance than I anticipated. I provided humidity once a day- but not directly! Kept them out of direct sunlight, away from drafts. I was half expecting a gremlin to hatch when one morning Big Bro came running up to me yelling, “They hatched! They hatched!”

They hatched alright. I don’t know how I expected to react to several hundred tiny praying mantises..es… inside a netted habitat, but with a fake smile slapped across my suddenly queasy face, I took out the instructions once again.

Good news for me, one must release all but a few of the insects before they start eating each other. Flashbacks of the ant cemetery flew through my mind and we went to a park to either control the local bug population or feed several birds.

I purchased live fruit flies at the pet store because of course they’ll only eat live insects. So much for the twigs and the leaf. The flies escaped the enclosure of course, so I set it outside only to find a few minutes later a very satisfied spider was perched on the habitat, gobbling up their food as it escaped. Turns out two-day-old mantis babies are terrible hunters.

Now, we have nine baby mantis bugs who have gone a few days without eating each other and I’m calling that a win. Baby Bro is still a bit wary of their pinchers, which he knows will grow quickly, but we have a solid plan to release them in our garden when they’re ready so they can protect our broccoli.

Next year, I hope the ladybugs will be back in stock.

This week, we celebrated the boys turning 8 and 5. When I say this week, I mean we celebrated for a straight week. This year, their birthdays landed on Tuesday and Thursday, making it less convenient to choose an in-between date to throw a joint party, and with both having their own friends in school, they had their own individual birthday bashes for the first time, two consecutive Saturdays. 

Throw in their actual birthdays, which we celebrated with their choice of restaurant and dessert (they kept it classy choosing Raising Canes and McDonalds) then a family dinner on the Wednesday in-between, and I think we have sufficiently acknowledged this transformative change in age. 

So why don’t I feel like it’s sunk in? My baby will be starting kindergarten in the fall. Today he filled his own drinks, dressed, fixed his own snacks and repeatedly told me “I’m five now so I can do it myself,” or my favorite, “I’m so much smarter because now I’m five.”

I keep waiting for that moment. The moment I realize they really are big kids and will only become even more independent. They’ll become “so much smarter” and there’s no going back. I keep waiting for it to hit me and drudge up feelings of nostalgia for the bottles and pacifiers and wobbly feet. 

Maybe it’s because I’m growing with them. Maybe it’s because each new “version” of them just keeps getting cooler. Maybe it’s because they still end up in our bed in the middle of the night.

Whatever the reason, I know I love watching them get so much smarter.

At 8 years old, big bro likes baseball, writing, reading, Pokémon, legos and playing outside.

At 5, little bro likes drawing, telling jokes, music, Pokémon, legos and playing outside.

They both dislike bedtime.

In most places, January means snow days and warm slow cooker meals, or scraping the ice off your car and fussing to get coats on the kids. Here in the Phoenix East Valley, it means throwing on a hoodie for the mornings and evenings, and spending the day enjoying some of our best weather outdoors. There’s a reason our population increases by hundreds of thousands each winter.

For our family, it’s a great time to enjoy the parks in and around our home. Over the years we’ve gotten to know our absolute favorites. So, here are the top 5 parks we visit on a regular basis, but in no particular order because I honestly couldn’t decide!

1. Riparian Preserve at Water Ranch: This is our go-to park in Gilbert for a laid-back afternoon of feeding ducks, playing a game of tag, climbing trees or walking the trails. This expansive park not only includes several ponds and miles of natural trail, but its own observatory where you can stargaze on Saturday nights. Its abstract playground features a giant concrete snake that my boys both learned to walk on, and dinosaur dig areas that bring their imaginations to life.
2. Tumbleweed Park: This popular park in Chandler has plenty of space for athletics and recreation. An on-site rec center provides programs and opportunities for all sorts of activities, while a large playground features barn-style structure and a mini city complete with climbable fire truck, school bus, and roads to scoot, bike or skate on.
3. Mansel Carter Oasis Park: This park in Queen Creek is a hot spot for cooling off in the summer. Its splash pad centers around a pirate ship with water slides, canons and more. Ponds for fishing, playgrounds, a fitness area, and even a sand play structure with running water make it the perfect place for wearing out even the most energetic little ones.
4. Riverview Park: Riverview Park in Mesa is an expansive park with room for events, a large splash pad, and two climbing structures, each spanning more than 50 feet. Sidewalks connecting all of the amenities are also great for skating, biking or long walks.
5. Gilbert Regional Park: This regional park has opened its first couple of phases, but still has even more room to grow. With an amphitheater for events, sport courts for tennis, pickleball and more, and a three-part playground for tots, big kids and splashing, we’re thankful it’s a short drive from our house. We spend a lot of time at this park for playdates, parties, or just an afternoon.

It’s the best Christmas gift a kid could ask for. This winter break, we were joined by my brother and his family for a dream vacation to Disneyland, Universal Studios, and spending the holidays with family in Arizona.

We started in Santa Monica, where the Chapins dipped their feet into the Pacific Ocean for the first time. The water was December cold, but the kids still managed to splash and play. We spent the next day at Disneyland, riding the classic attractions including Dumbo and Thunder Mountain. We marveled at the Star Wars land and accidentally traumatized our four-year-old with the 3D Rise of the Resistance ride.

We saw Jurassic Park dinosaurs, Transformers, and Harry Potter at Universal Studios, where all of the kids picked up magic wands and drank butter beer (some liked it more than others.) After Los Angeles, we drove back to Arizona for the Christmas holiday, and then to Tucson to tour the Desert Museum, Air and Space Museum and spend time with Leonore’s family.

It was a busy trip full of laughter, excitement, and holiday cheer. But the best gift this year was seeing all of our kids make lasting memories together.

Yesterday I lost my car keys. I had driven home, so I knew they were somewhere in my possession but I’d checked my purse, dresser, kitchen, the car cup holders and under the seat. Admitting defeat, I took my husband’s spare keys that morning and drove to work.

That afternoon, spare keys in hand, I picked up the kids from their grandparents after school, buckled in Little B and started the ignition. Spare keys were still in hand. My keys were in the ignition. 

I don’t even know where the switch happened. Did I set them down the last time I got my son from the car only to subconsciously pick them up again while buckling him in? 

If you’re like me, your brain is just as fried during this time of year. I’m already a huge multi-tasker with a knack for time management, but the tasks and to-do lists of the holidays test these skills to the extreme.

Between shopping, cooking and planning there are spirit weeks, recitals and parties. I’ve found the best thing to do when I’ve got two pairs of car keys is to laugh, and just keep going.

After more than a year of schedule changes, working from home with kids, giving in to tantrums as a temporary solution, and unintentionally rewarding negative behavior, our house was in need of a reset. We needed something positive to motivate good behavior. I fell back on a tool I’d used with both boys during potty-training- the reward chart.

I got a great chart off Amazon (this one) with interchangeable tasks that the boys and I chose together. They each decided on a goal and a reward, like choosing a dessert outing or a round of mini golf. The first week was full of chart excitement! Each task they accomplished and star they stuck on was welcomed with joy and pride.

They both earned more than 25 out of 40 stars, reaching their goal. The next week, we set out to start again and chose new tasks. I asked them their goals.

That’s when I caught a glimpse of the differences in their personalities. I suddenly remembered how my approach to potty-training each of them the exact same way had completely different results.

Big B suggested moving his goal to the very maximum. He wanted perfection. Then, Little B looked up at me and asked, “can I just do ten?”

We’ve been doing the reward charts on and off for about three months now and that pretty much sums up how it’s going. Big B likes to check each of his boxes. Little B seems more satisfied in the process, choosing only tasks he enjoys like watering plants, and shrugging his shoulders when they don’t get done.

If you’re considering a reward chart to influence your little one’s behavior for the better, I would love to tell you that ours have been a resounding success. Truth is, it all depends on the kid.

Three years ago, I had an idea for a backyard play area that my then toddlers could really enjoy. I’m a big fan of upcycling, so I took some old tires, a kiddie pool and an old entertainment center and created a space in our backyard with a sandbox, climbing structures, a vegetable garden, and outdoor mud kitchen. Just in time for the boys’ first and fourth birthdays; they loved it.

They played in it for three years, but as Big B’s legs grew longer he could hardly sit in the sandbox. The outdoor mud kitchen turned more mud than kitchen and the paint had worn and plastic crumpled over time. It looked like a mess. The backyard play area needed a remodel.

Still a fan of upcycling, I sat down with the boys, now 7 and 4, to design a new space that would incorporate their imagination. They came up with some pretty elaborate ideas! After realizing I wasn’t engineering-inclined enough to build a custom rock wall or water feature, we simplified the concept into something more realistic, but I made sure they could still add their creative touches.

Inspired by their current obsession with building and Legos, I designed a space that wouldn’t make our backyard look like a mess. Well, it would, but this time it’s supposed to. What better way to let the boys dig in dirt and sand than to install their very own construction site?

Taking the tools we already owned, adding a few elements like construction signs and wood borders, we added 1.5 tons of sand to be sure Big B wouldn’t grow out of the new sand box. A fresh coat of paint, a 7-gallon camping jug, and a digger from Amazon put the finishing touches onto this new play area to make it versatile and fun. They’ve already played in it for hours, digging, building castles, making moats, and more. Our neighbors have been getting in on the fun too! A towel by the back door keeps us from bringing a whole beach inside.

These boys continue to build, create, and grow, and I love being able to make space for them to do just that.

The last year and a half has been filled with constant adjustment and change. We went into total lockdown, learned to work and school from home, adjusted to masking and sanitizing, then hybrid working and back to school that looked and felt a bit different than it used to. Our daily schedules have been overhauled on a quarterly basis, like many families right now. Though change is never easy, it does make it easier to keep changing.

Four months ago, I graduated with my Master’s in Digital Audience Strategy from Arizona State University with the hope of advancing my career, and today I started a new job as the director of marketing and public relations for a local school district.

I said goodbye to the organization and the role I held for nine years and said hello to a new opportunity that I hope will allow me to continue to grow and serve our community. It will mean a new schedule and adjustments for everyone in our house. Fortunately, we’ve had a lot of practice.
By now, I’ve got a few tricks to help the kids cope with our seemingly-constant change:

1. Preparation– Whether it’s a variation in our schedule or a big permanent adjustment, I talk it out beforehand, especially with my 4-year-old and prepare exactly what HIS day will be like. That way, he knows what’s coming, I outline it as simply as I can, and remind him leading up to the change.
2. Promotion– Even if the news is not so great, point out the silver lining, the exciting and fun parts of the change! School is going to be on the computer, and you get to wear pjs and spend more time playing legos! Mom’s going into an office and you get to see your grandparents every afternoon!
3. Patience– During a big change, regression shouldn’t be a fear, it should be an expectation. Any backslides in behavior, even unrelated, I acknowledge as part of their emotional development and try to be as gentle as possible when correcting. I’ve found they’re usually back to their normal selves in about two weeks.

Change can be scary, even for grown-ups. I tell my kids the best adventures are a little scary at first. I’m ready to start this one.

For the last two weeks, the Olympic Games have been on in our house in the evenings as we cheer on our favorites in gymnastics, track and field, and swimming. Each one has sparked the boys’ imaginations and my level of anxiety as they launch themselves off the arms of our sofa in attempts to do “backflips” or jump into the pool over and over, calling out their dives, contorting themselves mid-air.

“Giraffe dive!” “Submarine dive!” “Windmill dive!” Followed by the predictable, “Did you see it? Did you watch me?” I give a 9.5 for creativity.

I’ll admit, I too was inspired watching Katie Ledecky swim meters ahead of her opponents. I’ve always loved swimming and decided to take it to the next level and incorporate lap swim into my workouts. Of course, that meant upgrading my goggles to something a little more Olympic.

The boys have been working on their swimming all summer and while I’ve noticed a lot of progress, nothing seemed to jumpstart such a leap as watching the best in the world compete. Even my four-year-old jumped into the pool at the start of their “freestyle race” and actually pulled off an impressive freestyle!

There’s something about the Olympics that brings a little bit of magic. The closing ceremony today will be bittersweet and this year has certainly been different. But, it always makes the world feel a little smaller; humanity a little closer, and dreams feel just within reach.

In October of 2019, we traveled back east to D.C to visit my parents and siblings. We’d visited that Spring and were planning on another trip soon, so we kept that one small and quick.

Little did we know we wouldn’t be seeing most of my family again for more than a year and a half. By the time we were able to safely travel, little B had forgotten ever meeting them, or riding on an airplane.
As soon as all of the adults were fully vaccinated, we planned a reunion at Lake Anna in Virginia. One big house, 11 adults, 5 kids, and dozens of toasted marshmallows, kayak rides, games and more. The boys caught their first fish, we had Thanksgiving dinner to make up for the one that was missed, and gave lots of hugs (although Little B is still learning to allow others into his bubble.)

What I’m most grateful for other than the good time, is that we all made it. Yes, we traveled from different parts of the country on planes, trains and automobiles to get there, but we all made it to the other side of a difficult and dangerous time, to be able to raise a toast together. We know many people who do not have the privilege of seeing their family members again. When I looked around the room that first night as we sat around one table for dinner, I counted my blessings. All 15 of them. And we raised a glass to family.