When it comes to staying active, everyone in our household has a hobby or sport that keeps us moving. Choosing to do one activity in unison might have been more convenient, but who wants to take the easy route? So we spent this spring balancing schedules between little b’s soccer on Wednesdays and Saturdays, Big B’s baseball on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, Drew’s pickle ball early Sunday mornings, and my running anytime in between.

I learned quickly that being sports mom means riding an emotional roller coaster. There are days when I’m biting my tongue on the sidelines, watching a struggle or a close call, doing everything in my self control not to yell louder than the coach. There are other days when it all comes together and the pride in my child’s face is priceless. Well, it’s worth the price of fees, uniforms, equipment, time, effort and snacks. 

Win or lose, what our boys get from their participation is much more than a trophy. I love a good game as much as anyone, but it’s the lessons they learn through their experience that will last long after game is over. It’s the camaraderie of a team working toward a shared goal, and the resilience of getting knocked down just to spring back up to try again. It’s the hours of practice that finally pays off. It’s stepping out of a comfort zone to try a new position or take that shot. 

Tonight, as I watched Big B and his team win their Little League Championship, I could tell it was one of those moments that would stick. They took photos with their championship rings and high-fived one another before gathering around their coach for a final pep talk. His first words to the boys were, “I never doubted you. I never stopped believing in you, and you should all believe in yourselves.” 

I hope that’s the lesson he remembers. 

Over the years, their participation in sports has grown and changed, and I’m sure they’ll continue to try new things, go through ups and downs, and face new challenges. If they believe in themselves and keep learning, that’s the only win this sports mom needs.

For the last several months, Little b has been asking for a pet. These requests ranged from snake, to tarantula, guinea pig, lizard, hermit crab, and fish. While Drew vetoed the creepy crawliest of the requests, I found myself in the pet store two days before his seventh birthday, weighing our options. I was looking for low-maintenance, fun to watch, and something that could live in his room. I selected a hermit crab. I remember getting a hermit crab as a kid, at a beach store. They’d come with a few shells, some sand and a little cage. I bought a single crab with a tank and accessories, and hid it under my bed to keep it a surprise for Little b’s birthday. Then, I did a little more research to make sure I had what we needed, and I quickly learned that while hermit crabs are fun to watch, they’re not low-maintenance.

I found out despite the name, hermit crabs are social. So, I sent Drew back to the store to buy another crab. From the same tank of course, so they wouldn’t be strangers. I bought a coconut hut for them to take shelter. I bought a fogger to increase humidity in their tank, since they breathe through modified gills instead of lungs. (fun fact!) Two days taking care of the crabs under our bed and it was finally time for the big reveal! b loved them! We set them up in his room and I joined a hermit crab group on Facebook to learn more.

Now, anyone familiar with parenting groups on Facebook knows they can be harsh, judgmental, and filled with self-righteous comments pointing out everything you’re doing wrong. I’ve seen many mommy groups go sideways in my ten years as a parent, but this hermit crab group was worse. I posted an introduction of our crabs, Shelly and Pinch (b chose the names) and was immediately informed that our sand was wrong, they needed more extra shells, climbing material, and more. Back to the store I went.

In the last month, I’ve updated our crabitat several times. (That’s what it’s called, a “crabitat”.) I got rid of the fogger because it caused too much humidity. I bought a wire lid, then made my own acrylic lid because wire lids let out too much heat. I’m still scouring stores for tank upgrades, chopping up fruits and vegetables for them to try, modifying their climbing material, and worrying every time they build a tunnel that perhaps they’re about to molt- something I learned they do for months at a time underneath the sand.

Hermit crab ownership is definitely not what it was during the wire cage, handful of sand days of my childhood. I learned that if cared for properly, they can live up to 30 years. So, if all goes well, Shelly and Pinch will someday follow little b to college. So far they’ve been pretty good roommates, even if they’re a little crabby.

It’s been a decade since I became a mom. As I celebrated my motherhood anniversary, Big Bro celebrated his tenth birthday. We threw a party for both boys at a park with a bounce house and an exorbitant amount of children, or dragons. It was hard to tell.

Several weeks prior, I handed Big Bro a small stack of invitations totaling the number of friends he listed that he wanted to invite to his party, and instructed him to hand them out at school. A few days later, I found a crudely cut, paper copy of the invitation in his backpack.

“What’s this?” I asked.

“I ran out of invitations so I made copies,” he said nonchalantly.

My social butterfly had used our scanner/printer and took it upon himself to expand the guest list. Having no clear idea of how many kids were coming, I doubled the order of cupcakes and hoped I’d have enough help on hand to at least loosely supervise dozens of fourth graders and first graders at the park.

I watched them run, bounce and play in a whirlwind of birthday chaos. On the way home they chattered on about how much fun they had. Some days we wish we could re-live over and over. 

I wish I could re-live ten years ago, when I held that tiny baby in my arms and imagined all of this in front of me. But I love who they’re becoming so much I wouldn’t want to trade it to go back. So I try to save every detail, every moment, every trait that will undoubtedly change and evolve by the time we celebrate again. 

Big Bro is ten. His room is as disorganized as his train of thought, his energy is endless, he empathizes deeply, asks questions with curiosity, and loves to tell, write, and film stories. He looks so focused, but fearless when he plays guitar. He’s a team player, whether it’s baseball or basketball. His friends are important and abundant.

Little Bro is seven. He is bright beyond his years, solve puzzles and problems quickly, feels big emotions, looks up to his brother, and loves to read, play and snuggle. He sleeps with a giant stuffed snake named Rattles. His favorite characters are the villains. He’ll do anything for a laugh. He is stubborn, but most of the time he proves himself right.

They both love Legos and making movies and playing video games. They dislike bedtime, and brussel sprouts.

Being the children of a professional videographer, broadcaster, or content marketer comes with certain expectations. Big B’s television debut was at two days old, on CBS in Phoenix as his adorable face lit up the screen and the anchors congratulated his dad, one of their videographers, on his firstborn child. Days later, B’s photo was part of a mayor’s presentation at an annual address, exemplifying the growth and future of the community as the mayor extended congratulations to a mom who couldn’t attend the event she’d helped produce, due to the fact that she had just given birth. When your parents have a camera in hand most of their careers, you can expect that every once in a while you’ll be in front of it. They’re in convenient proximity, they take direction well, and I might be biased but they’re pretty adorable.

Over the years, the boys have been in public service announcements, event promotions, advertisements, almost all produced by their parents for local government or educational organizations. Some exceptions include an advertising shoot that earned Big B his first paycheck at the age of five, and a PBS documentary highlighting American life.

We weren’t surprised when the boys started asking to use the cameras themselves. Their film major father beamed with pride watching them traipse around the yard with an old iphone narrating the nature documentary of one of our beloved backyard birds they named “fat pigeon”. They ran around Hawaii this summer with a GoPro trying to capture hiking trails and snorkeling adventures. A few months ago, however, their movie-making skills reached another level.

Big B and little b combined their storytelling, their love of legos and action figures, and their camera skills. They started creating stop-motion videos. The first few starred their legos and were disturbingly violent but impressively detailed, when considering the patience and planning it takes to play out a scene of a lego storm trooper using his blaster against another minifigure, and then putting them in a car and driving away. After a few lengthy lego movies, they started asking for upgrades to the movie app on our iPad to include text, sound effects and green screen. Watching their imagination come alive and hearing their collaboration and creativity as they patiently capture each scene is nothing short of magical. I can’t wait to see what they make next.

From the girl who’s locked her keys in her car more times than she can count, (twice while it was running) comes the boy who’s on his third water bottle of the school year.

My nine year old was telling me with excitement about winning a token at school for their library’s book vending machine when he realized he left it in his grandparents’ car. Cue the waterworks. This token was of the utmost importance. He was pleading with me through his tears to track down his grandfather who was running errands, and recover he token. His loyal little brother chimed in, “we only get one token a year!” But with a basketball game and busy evening, we couldn’t stop to send a search party. I texted but they couldn’t find it.

After the game, he begged to drive over and look, insisting he must have left it at their house after school, but it was past bedtime. After tucking him in, my sympathy crept up. I understand what it’s like to have a brain so busy it doesn’t even register where I’ve put my keys, or why I walked into a room. I drove over to my in-laws after bedtime and knocked on the door, surprising them in their pajamas as I proceeded to ransack their car like an FBI agent. Still nothing.

Defeated, I drove home thinking we’d get to re-live the devastation again in the morning. That’s when I finally thought to check his shorts pocket. Bingo. He’d had it the entire day. While he was pleading with me to go find it, the token was sitting inches from his fingertips the whole time.

I’d say someday he needs to learn to keep track of his own stuff. That someday he’ll have his own keys and wallet, and he’ll learn to remember where he puts them. But I’m still working on that myself. What we can do is make sure his dad always has a spare. For those days when our brains get too busy.

Our fall break adventure took us on a road trip to some of the most spectacular sights in the Southwest. We mapped out our week from Northern Arizona to Southern Utah, with visits to the Grand Canyon, Horseshoe Bend, Lake Powell, Zion National Park, and Bryce Canyon.

From hiking to fishing, to a jeep tour and more, the boys learned so much about the natural world around them and got to enjoy some of the best parks this region has to offer. We couldn’t ask for more adventure-loving kids, but here are a few things we did on this trip to make the most of every experience: 

Every Kid Outdoors: When Big Bro started fourth grade, we immediately took advantage of the Every Kid Outdoors program that grants free access to all National Parks, recreation areas and more. Not only is it a money-saver, It’s great inspiration to explore our nation’s wild outdoor spaces and give our kids hands-on experiences they’ll remember forever.

Junior Rangers: In addition to the parks pass, school-aged children can also take advantage of the National Parks Junior Ranger program. Simply ask a ranger at any national park for a junior ranger activity book and complete it during your visit. Once finished, a ranger can swear in a child as a “junior ranger” with a collectible badge for that specific park as well. This kept their attention during hikes while they searched for plants or animals to identify, or found a “special spot” to draw their surroundings. They loved getting their badges at the end of our visits, and seeing them get sworn in with a pledge unique to each park was pretty cute too.

Dress for the Weather: This trip took us from the painted desert and Horseshoe Bend (about 2,600ft in elevation) to the cliffs of Bryce Canyon at about 8,000ft in elevation. The weather didn’t just vary park to park, but time of day and sun or shade. I packed lots of layers to make sure the kids were comfortable, including gloves, sweatshirts, t-shirts, and baseball hats for the sun. And of course, always, appropriate shoes.

Snacks: This tip is included in pretty much every list of tips I have to offer. My kids don’t get hungry, they get hangry, and if I don’t get ahead of it with some well-timed snack breaks, it can be bad news. In addition to snacks like carrots sticks, granola bars and applesauce pouches, we packed emergency fruit snacks to offer during any particularly difficult walks requiring endurance. I’m proud to say we didn’t even need them during our Bryce Canyon hike, but they were a great treat to unpack when we reached the top.

Flexibility: Venturing into the unknown requires a certain amount of flexibility. We had a couple of excursions booked but other than that, we relied on the expertise of park rangers, locals, and website reviews when it came to selecting which hikes or restaurants or activities to choose. Keeping the kids prepped with an open mind and including them in our decision-making helped ensure everyone had a good time. At Bryce Canyon, we took a look at our initial hiking plan and realized that at 8K feet elevation, we needed a shorter option (due to shortness of breath!) Modeling flexibility and a positive attitude goes a long way in keeping the boys motivated. And the fruit snacks help too.

We’re still very much enjoying the golden phase of parenting, where our boys play independently for hours on end but still snuggle at bedtime and cry “watch me!” to see us smiling from the sidelines. These elementary years have been some of my favorites, full of imagination and wonder and milestones and growth. But every now and then, we get a glimpse of what’s to come, as our nine-year-old starts to place more and more importance on the opinions and actions of his peers.

When he learned to speak as a toddler, I’d get caught blindsided by my own reflection; my diction and intonation coming from his mouth. Now, he comes home from school with a new vernacular, words and phrases winding their way into his regular vocabulary that aren’t familiar. I’m caught abruptly, hearing for the first time, the influences of people I don’t even know. Not to say it’s bad, but that’s how I went from “Mom” to “Bro.”

As parents, I think it’s easy to think of our kids as miniature versions of ourselves. But boy, do they prove us wrong. While I remind my son “I’m not your bro,” I remind myself he’s got new words, new interests, new strengths, new challenges, and that reflection I once saw so clearly is now only visible in his eyes when he smiles.

It’s up to me to take interest in his world instead of the other way around- Star Wars, legos, Minecraft, basketball, guitar, and books of dragons. I may not be an expert but they’re all fun to play, which I guess makes him a pretty cool “bro.”

Our household has never been the best at keeping a consistent bedtime routine. When the boys were infants, we tried our best at swaddling and sleep training, but ultimately defaulted to the tried and true method of two working parents who are exhausted by the end of the week – whatever works.

When they were toddlers, we’d watch a “calm down show” as we sat on the sofa watching a soothing episode of “Puffin Rock,” read a story and then tuck them in one at a time. Soon enough that one story became five stories. Each. Pajamas, teeth-brushing, stories, water bottles, tuck-ins, it all got longer and longer until we came up with the “one minute” bedtime rule. Every night, each parent has their “minute” with each child, where we chat about our day. We discuss our favorite part, our challenges, or look forward to the day ahead. Sometimes the minute itself is my favorite part.

Over the years, bedtime routine has had too many iterations to count. From watching a show to to reading out loud, to reading quietly, reading to one another, to playing word puzzles, and now a new household nightly tradition we started where we draw or write in sketch books. Some nights include literal laps around the yard to get Big Bro’s energy out enough for him to lay down and stay still for more than a few seconds. Despite the myriad of different attempts to calm our children before bed, one thing is always part of the routine- stalling for more time.

The one minute rule has stuck around too. Sometimes, it’s when I gain the most meaningful insights into their lives at school or their friends or their feelings.

I don’t think we’ll ever nail down a solid routine for winding down at the end of the day. Ultimately, we all do it differently and they’ll figure that out and that’s fine. As long as they’ve brushed their teeth, it’s only the last two minutes that matter to me.