If Adults Had Toddler Problems

One of my favorite phrases is, “Don’t sweat the small stuff, and it’s all small stuff.” In a toddler’s world, the opposite is definitely true. It’s all big stuff. A few of B’s biggest problems lately had me thinking if the roles were reversed, how would the world operate? If the problems of toddlers weighed on adults, productivity, society, the economy- it’d all go out the window.
An adult would walk into work an hour late and have to explain to their boss, “two of my Golden Grahams were stuck together this morning so I had to spend twenty minutes wailing in agony at the kitchen table until mom poured me a new bowl.”
At lunch, they’d spill food on their shirt and have an absolute meltdown because “My shirt is wet and I don’t want to wear any shirts that don’t have Thomas the Train on them.” Not to mention, it’s pajamas. That they’ve been wearing for nearly 48 hours.
They’d go to the bathroom and later cry inconsolable alligator tears because “mommy flushed my poopy before I could show daddy.”  Yes, that happened. And it was both tragic and hilarious at the same time.
Countries would be torn apart over the concept of having to share toys. Regimes would fall at the notion that a leader should put on his socks. We would sooner go to war than eat a vegetable, and no one would ever sleep because that would require a bedtime.
Isn’t it good we all grow up? Or, what wouldn’t we give for those problems to be the biggest in the world.
B is 2 and a half today, and though his problems may seem small, he is such a big boy. His personality, his energy, and his love are larger than life. He makes us laugh every day, even if it’s the kind of laughter I have to hold in while consoling a boy who just wanted to show daddy his poopie.
At 2.5, B likes: trains, planes, cars, building, running, swimming, snuggling, his cousins and friends, mommy, daddy and max, and most of all, cereal.

He dislikes: bedtime, broccoli, and having to wait.

Potty Training

Toddler B is now officially two and a half, and this past weekend we decided to level up and potty train. Since I had 4 days off for the 4th of July weekend, we declared independence from diapers on Friday and went straight to regular underwear (if there’s anything regular about underwear with Thomas the Train all over it) without looking back!
I had a three-day plan for potty training, written by a very reputable mom with a gazillion kids who says she potty-trained all of her children this way and it worked for every one. I also had a potty-training set that included a handbook for parents, a board book for a toddler boy, and best of all- sticker charts. Equipped with the tools of the modern first-time mom, B and I embarked on our adventure, and I subsequently embarked on cleaning every floor in the house. And a sofa. And my bed sheets. And his bed sheets. And 16 pairs of tiny Thomas the Train underwear.
Yeah, the first day was a little rough, but what got me through it (aside from Swiffer wet pads and a bottle of oxy-clean) was B’s positive attitude. He was such a go-getter and he tried so hard that he earned a couple of stickers just for his enthusiasm. The following day, we had a couple of successful trips to the potty! We even had a dry, uninterrupted night’s sleep. Sunday, we only had a few accidents! And another night of dry, uninterrupted sleep! Monday was July 4th, and it started out just fine. But let’s just say we felt more like the British than the Patriots by the end of the night.
There was an accident immediately after his nap on the bedroom floor, and another accident during the festivities that evening. When we returned home an hour past his bedtime, we discovered someone else had an accident on our bed- the dog. We don’t know if he was afraid of the fireworks or if he was simply re-claiming all that had been peed on during the past few days. Either way, between the toddler and the dog and losing count of the loads of laundry, I was getting defeated. That night B didn’t want to go potty before bed, and I discovered that no matter how hard you try, you just can’t make someone do what they don’t want to do. Your only hope is to make them want to do what you want them to do. He wasn’t having it. Then, at 4am, we all got a wake-up call. It was Toddler B screaming “I’m peeing!” from his crib.
Today is day 6 of the 3-day potty training plan and after a rough start to the week I think it’s looking up. He was dry all last night, and earned another sticker tonight right before bed. I just know he’ll get it soon.

As George Washington once said, “Perseverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.” Toddler B has both in spades. Even at two and a half. 

First Trip to the Dentist

Growing up, I had a love-hate relationship with my dentist. I hated him because it seemed he loved torturing me. Now I realize that when he once told me I was his worst patient, he wasn’t necessarily being mean, he was just telling the truth. This week, Baby B had his very first trip to the dentist. Afterwards, I called my mom and apologized.
We try not to project our own fears and concerns onto our children. But it leaves me wondering if some fears and concerns- like most people and their dentists- are only natural. I tried to prepare B the best I could. When Drew scheduled a dentist appointment last week, I asked if B could go along and watch, so he could witness how painless and positive the experience could be. Notice, I didn’t invite him to any of my appointments.
Two days later when it was still fresh in his mind, he had his first appointment. We went into the waiting room and he played with some toys. We read a book about how great the dentist is. Then, we were called back into the office by the assistant. B refused to sit in the chair, so I sat in the chair and he sat in my lap. B refused to smile and take a photo for his patient portfolio, so I had the assistant sneak a snapshot over my shoulder of his sulking frown. He refused to pick a new toothbrush, even though they came in several awesome colors with pictures of Transformers on them.
Despite how smoothly everything went with the assistant, when the dentist walked in, B refused to open his mouth. The only tool on the premises was that harmless mirror on a stick, but no matter how much we reassured him that everything was fine, he wouldn’t back down. Then, I saw the tears. Oh, those crocodile tears. The drama! The Horror!  This strange man he’d met two days prior was going to stick that mirror into his mouth and look at his teeth! It was awful! The dentist got a quick look while B’s mouth was gaping open mid-scream, just before he scrambled up my body onto my head, reaching for anything that would take him away from this strange man.
I don’t think you really know parenting until you try to calmly speak to a medical professional with a child wrapped around your face.

Luckily, the dentist seemed satisfied to find that B’s teeth existed at all, and that was the end of the appointment. B gladly chose a toy airplane on his way out of the office, and I’m sure the dentist and his staff will gladly wait half a year before his next visit. 

Carpool Karaoke

Anybody who knows me knows that I love to sing in the car. I usually have the radio tuned to a top 40 station and as I drive around town I belt out Taylor Swift, Maroon 5, Bruno Mars, and whoever else happens to have the latest catchy tune that’s fun to sing and pass the time while driving. Sometimes I forget there’s a little guy in the back seat listening to every word, remembering every note, and on occasion I hear him chime in at the top of his lungs during the chorus. And it’s hilarious. But, after a recent lunch just the two of us at a pizza place occupied primarily by burly men on their lunch break from the nearby auto repair shop, I realized I may need to alter my driving habits. Or at least my choice of music.

The pizza place had their radio on and as we were eating, suddenly out of nowhere, B must have felt moved by the music. “Is it too late now to say soooorrryyyy” he blared without using his inside voice, loud enough for everyone to hear and start snickering around me. Oh, that just egged him on. Before I knew it, I was stifling my laughter while my little showman entertained the whole restaurant with his rendition of Taylor Swift’s Wildest Dreams. There’s something about a two-year-old singing the lyric, “handsome as heelllll” in his little toddler voice that’s completely adorably wrong. I was near tears I was laughing so hard, and my face was red as I uttered, “ok, mommy is going to have to pick a new favorite radio station.”

I’m sure one day I’ll embarrass him in a public place, maybe even more than once. He better hope it doesn’t involve singing.

In the meantime, I’ll be picking up the latest copy of Elmo’s Greatest Hits for our next car ride.

Big Boy’s Busy Month

This past month has been a whirlwind of fun and adventure! First, we had a visit from Toddler B’s cousins, my brother and his family from Virginia! We visited the zoo, children’s museum, playgrounds, and stayed busy doing laps around the kitchen. Maybe that last one was just the kids. It was great getting all of B’s cousins together. I love watching all of them play.

Next, we hopped on a plane and traveled to Florida for our friends’ wedding and some beach time! We had a blast spending time with our best friends and soaking up the sand and surf. (Arizona has enough sun, but we really missed the water!)


April wrapped up with my birthday as I turned the big 3-1. But, while I may be the one hitting a new year, B is the one taking major steps into “big boy” territory.

This week, he got rid of his pacifier. We told him he was a big boy and didn’t need it anymore, and he threw it in the garbage can himself, proudly saying, “Bye paci!” He seemed fine! And he was, until seconds before I put him in his crib that night when he asked, “can I have a different paci?”

For the next half hour over the baby monitor we heard him sadly talking to the darkness, saying, “I want another paci.” “Is there another paci I can use?” Holding back tears, I tucked him in again and again, telling him he didn’t need it. During the last tuck-in of the night, he looked up and said, “I don’t need my paci anymore.” That was Monday night, and he has gone to sleep just fine without it since.

As with all of his major transitions, I had prepared myself for several sleepless nights and endless crying. And, as with all of his major transitions, he took it in stride and adjusted quickly with very little protest. I only cried a little… when I tucked him in tonight without his paci and realized, he really is a big boy.

Red Apron

Anyone who has followed this blog from the beginning (hi mom!) knows how adventurous I am in the kitchen. They would also know how overly ambitious, experimental, and accident-prone I can be. Honestly, it’s a wonder I haven’t burned anything down (though there’s been no shortage of contained fires and the occasional burned hole in a pot) or chopped off a body part. I’m happy to say that’s still the case, but I did come close. It all started when Drew signed us up for Blue Apron.

Blue Apron is a service that sends you recipes and all of the measured, fresh ingredients to make them. We got three meals for our first week and after making some pretty excellent salmon, I was confident that the Saturday before Easter would yield an even better calzone. I love cooking because we’re all in the kitchen together working on little pieces that come together as a whole. We get B to assist in simple tasks like stirring or ripping lettuce. On this particular night, I chopped all of the produce (successfully!) and was opening a can of crushed tomatoes when my pinky got caught in the lid and sliced right open.

Now, I’ve also mentioned on this blog that I’m not a doctor. It’s not just because I can’t pass an advanced biology class and my eyes glaze over at the mention of any scientific name. I can’t stand blood. The second it happened, I ran over to the sink and it was just everywhere. Cringing, I asked Drew to look at it because I thought I needed to get to an Urgent Care. I was right.

One of the interesting things about being a parent is that we feel the need to look invincible in front of our children. Don’t let them see you worry, don’t let them see you sad or in pain. I’m not sure why, but it’s in the handbook, so what I did next came perfectly naturally. I slapped a smile on my face, turned to B and said, “Sweetie, mommy has an owie. We need to go to the doctor so they can fix it. Can you find your shoes?”

Minutes later, B was walking confidently into the Urgent Care with his shoes on the wrong feet, chatting about how mommy was going to get a bandage. During his most recent check-up he received the book, Doctor Dan the Bandage Man, so he knows all about putting on bandages. Drew filled out the paperwork and I scribbled some semblance of a signature with my left hand, my right pinky still wrapped tightly in a paper towel. I went in to see the doctor and got my first stitches. I’m not going to lie, it hurt and I was terrified. Luckily, I didn’t sever anything important so it will heal “better than new!” as Doctor Dan would say. When I walked back into the waiting room with my bandaged finger, B smiled and said, “Mommy, you’re all better?”  “Yes! Look at my bandage! All better!” I said, gritting my teeth into a smile. We picked up a new can of crushed tomatoes on the way home and finished cooking our calzones. They were delicious.

This week our second Blue Apron box arrived and tonight we cooked enchiladas. I chopped the produce, Drew opened the can of tomato sauce, and we had a wonderfully uneventful dinner.

The Opposite of Atkins

When it comes to food, Toddler B is as healthy and adventurous any toddler. Which means, I’m pretty sure he’s surviving on cheddar bunnies and food I tell him not to eat off the floor. I remember when he first started eating solid food and I started him on peas, moving on to squash, pureed kale, spinach, broccoli, carrots, sweet potato and more. It was my plan to make him fall in love with vegetables. What happened was a little bit different.

I guess it was inevitable. He discovered cookies. And chips. And crackers. And pasta. And bread. Basically, my toddler eats like he’s carb-loading for a marathon. Which I guess makes sense considering the fact that he spends most of his waking hours in motion, running, jumping, climbing and hurdling all over the place.

I did develop a few tricks to get the occasional green food into this rambunctious boy, like making home-made squeezers with some of his favorite fruits while sneaking in kale or spinach. I also found that he’s more likely to eat vegetables if he’s involved in the cooking process, like the night we made mashed cauliflower together and he cleaned his plate! This weekend at the grocery store, a genius idea came over me- why don’t I let him pick his own produce? We strolled through the vegetable section and he selected avocados and a green bell pepper. I don’t know who was more excited about that pepper, him or me!

During lunch the next day, I cut the pepper into “sticks” and arranged it carefully on his plate with a dipping cup full of hummus. He took one bite of the pepper and I heard him say under his breath, “…yuk.”  He immediately gathered up all of the pepper slices and moved them off of his plate onto the table, saying, “Just chips please. Just chips.”  I was actually too busy laughing at his meticulous and oddly polite request to be upset about it.  I handed him some tortilla chips to go with his hummus instead. And a squeezer.

At two years and one month old, B is officially 35 inches tall and weighs in at nearly 30lbs. His new favorite toy (his own words) is his Blaze monster truck. He loves pretending, racing, playgrounds, playing with his cousins, and so much more. He dislikes bedtime, being interrupted, and of course, vegetables.

Terrific Two

Two years ago today, our lives changed for the better forever. It’s been filled with more love, learning, and above all, laughter. As we celebrated Toddler B’s second birthday this weekend, I couldn’t believe how quickly he’s become a running, jumping, problem-solving, chatting, joke-telling little boy. He understands so much about what’s going on around him and has a curiosity that just can’t be quenched. Occasionally, I’m taken aback by what he says or asks, or the way he raises an eyebrow while putting a puzzle piece in its place.

He’s observant and honest, and has the vocabulary to express it now, which can make for some interesting interactions. Last Friday, we were eating lunch at our usual pizza place when a man sat down at a nearby table and started eating. The next thing I know, B is pointing and telling me (with his usual lack of volume control,) “Wow, that guy is hungry!”

In another restaurant while eating dinner, B felt the need to inform our table that the lady walking by was “going to the potty!”

And, when we saw a mud-covered truck in a parking lot with the driver’s side window open, B loudly proclaimed, “That car needs a chug-wash!”  I can only hope the driver wasn’t as familiar with the phrases coined by the show Chuggington as we are. Parents of preschoolers- you understand.

Other times, he surprises me for different reasons. This week we sat down at our kitchen table to eat dinner and before I could ask the same question I never realized I asked every night, B turned to me and said with my exact inflection, “How was your day?”

I paused for a second, and then smiled. “It was good. How was yours?”

“Good mommy.”  Then, he started eating.

I’d just had a conversation with my baby boy. Of course, he’s not such a baby anymore.

Happy birthday to our terrific two-year-old!
Watch how he’s grown!

Planes, Trains, Cars and Christmas

We can’t believe 2015 has come to an end. It was a year of milestones, learning, playing, and fun family outings. The latest was a trip back East to spend Christmas with Toddler B’s grandmamma, abuelo, papa, nana, auntie, uncles, and three of his cousins.

We had so much fun enjoying the holidays in warm weather. Wait… what?

That’s right, it was warmer in Virginia than it was in Arizona the entire trip. So much for a white Christmas! Despite the unseasonably warm temps (and unseasonably cold back home) our holiday spirit stayed strong as B helped grandmama bake cookies to put out for Santa, enjoyed Christmas Eve dinner at Papa’s house, and opened presents enthusiastically Christmas morning. His excitement grew with every gift as he tore away paper to reveal matchbox cars, v-tech cars, a fire station, etc. One of the boxes was met with a little less enthusiasm as he threw off the wrapping paper, the tissue paper, and the clothes it contained and stared at the empty box inquisitively, saying, “cars missing. Where cars go?”  I wish I’d gotten that on camera.

During our trip we even had the opportunity to go into DC for a day to check out a new section of the Museum of American History. We rode the Metro (or, “train!”) and B was over the moon. Though he loved the train ride and the museum, the highlight for me was taking him and the cousins with my brother to ride the carousel on the National Mall that we used to ride when we were little. B has always been a big fan of watching, never riding the carousel, but that day he changed his mind. He got on the horse by himself and smiled ear to ear the whole time. My big boy.

Overall, we had a wonderful vacation and B was a champ during the cross-country flights as usual.  Our good little traveler will turn two next month.

As 23 months, B likes… trains, planes, cars, playing pretend, building blocks, playgrounds, playing with his cousins, singing the alphabet, running, jumping, and so much more.

He dislikes… nap time and bed time.

A Mind of his Own

Toddler B is growing more independent every day, and most of the time it feels wonderful to watch him make his own decisions, like choosing a story to read for bed time, or initiating a game of hide-and-seek, or even trying something new like going down the big slide at the playground all by himself. Nothing makes me happier than to see his face, beaming, as he says “I did it my-yelf!”

Sometimes, however, his clarity of intention and follow-through don’t align with my directions. That’s when parenting a toddler feels like, well, parenting a toddler. The best example was a recent trip to Lowe’s, shopping for some small tools and handles for a dresser.

As I pushed him in the awkwardly-large “racecart” or cart with a racecar seat that he supposedly loves to ride in, he expressed his desire to get down and walk. After my attempt to distract him and say no, he thought he’d just climb out by himself. While Drew was looking for a particular type of screw in the hardware aisle, I decided to pick up B and the half dozen small handles I’d already put in the cart, instead of juggling a toddler and an awkwardly-large racecart.

Still, he wanted to walk. “Ok, let’s go find the tape,” I said, putting him down and shifting half a dozen handles in my arms. “Help mommy find the tape.”

B followed close behind as we walked toward the other end of the store, until he turned and said, “outside.” Seeing the look on his face, I started to worry. “No, not right now, can you help me find the tape? It’s this way.”

“Go outside.” he said. “No,” I replied. “Follow me this way.” He must have sensed my fear because then, he smiled.

Without missing a beat, he bolted past the cashier and out the door as I sprinted after him, through the metal detector, juggling an armload of dresser handles, grabbing him by his hoodie as he stepped onto the sidewalk. I scooped him up, dropping half the merchandise I’d just unintentionally stolen from Lowe’s, in front of an audience of customers checking out on Black Friday weekend.

When I finally made it back to Drew, disheveled, frustrated, embarrassed, and frankly shocked at the boldness of B’s test of boundaries, all I had to do was hand him the toddler and head to the register by myself, while he headed to the car. In our house, we call this a “tag out,” and I’m convinced it’s why parents come in sets of two.

I’m sure it won’t be the last time a trip to the store is cut short, or B decides to go his own way instead of follow instructions. But, today as he sprinkled cheese on a tortilla, standing on a chair at the kitchen counter, B looked at me smiling and said, “I did it my-yelf!”

And I melted.

At 22 months, B likes… hide-and-seek, trains, sports class, painting, racing, playing cars, feeding ducks, cooking, bath time, and so much more!

He dislikes… bedtime, naps, and brushing his teeth.