It’s been six years since I became a mom and three years since we became a family of four. The boys celebrated their birthdays this weekend with a Lego party complete with Lego building table, a bounce-house and dozens of toddlers and kindergartners running around having fun and eating sugar.

At age six, Big Bro stands nearly four feet tall. He is smart, kind, adventurous and a great big brother. He loves running, playing on the playground, playing with his friends, going to school, reading, all things Lego and Ninjago, and so much more. He dislikes bedtime and homework. 

At age three and 38 inches tall, Baby Bro isn’t much of a baby anymore. He is sweet, clever, funny and a snugglebug. He likes running around, playing with his brother, painting, playing with trains, listening to stories, and telling jokes. He dislikes bedtime, brushing his teeth, and sharing his toys.

It’s been such a joy watching these two grow bigger and closer. Having a two-year-old and five-year-old wasn’t without its challenges, and I’m sure we’ll encounter more as Baby Bro becomes a “threenager.” Drew and I talk about six and three in our very first Our Life in A-Z podcast episode:

There’s no question about the beauty of Arizona, with its purple mountains, spectacular sunsets, towering cacti, red rock formations and more. But perhaps the most overlooked Arizona beauty is the winter wonderland that is the northern part of the state- mountainous and pine-topped, snowy and frigid, and just a three-hour drive from our home.

We rented a cabin with family the weekend after Christmas and drove up with impeccable timing to spend three days in nearly two feet of snow. It was a fun-filled weekend of hot cocoa, board games, snowball fights, igloos and sledding hills. The big kids (Big Bro and his older cousins) could spend hours in the snow, and for me it all came back in a flash from my northern Virginia roots and a childhood of snow days.

For Baby Bro, the snow held its novelty for one day and quickly wore off. The next day, he was content to remain inside the cabin eating snacks and hanging with his grandparents after he refused to put on not one, not two, but all three pairs of shoes we brought for him on the trip. I’m all for natural consequences and I’m a tough mama, but I fall short of letting my two-year-old desert baby explore the snow in bare feet. I can handle the cold but frostbite is way beyond my wheelhouse. He was happy to kick back with candy canes while we played outside, so it was all good once I gave up on selling “winter” to my toddler. He just wasn’t buying it.

In the meantime, big bro was sold. By the third day, I practically had to drag him off a sledding hill as he asked if we could come back next year. I have to admit I was happy to hear those words.

One of the things I used to love about my hometown was that we got all four seasons. I enjoyed snow in the winter, flowers in the spring, hot, sticky summers and crunchy colorful autumn leaves. I’ve been away for more than a decade now, but that’s still the thing I miss most. Being able to experience four seasons gives the year so much more flavor.

Northern Arizona’s winter wonderland looks like a storybook, but the real beauty is in the magic of that forth day at the cabin. After breakfast we packed our things, dug out the car, and drove three hours back to a sixty-degree sunny day. I love to experience the seasons, but I love our sun even more. We don’t have to spend months shoveling or scraping ice or stepping in slush. We can just enjoy an Arizona snow day.

As if a mom’s plate weren’t full enough, the second we start dishing out those Thanksgiving leftovers, our heads start spinning. The mental load many moms take on full of children’s doctors appointments, play dates, household chores, meal plans and a career, is already as full as Santa’s sleigh on a snowy winter night, but we tend to find room for even more, throwing that sack over our shoulder to spread cheer.

This time of year brings more of everything. More joy, more moments made into lasting memories, more events on the calendar, more harsh weather, more money out of the household budget, more time management and more stress.

It can be overwhelming and daunting to be this full. So, this time of year it’s especially important to take a look around and simplify. Get off Pinterest and do it all your way. Forget the formality of the holiday pictures you pictured, when your two-year-old is throwing a tantrum. Keep the breakable ornaments in the box for another season. Buy the pie instead of making it yourself. Shop online. Whatever you need to do, if it’s not fun it’s not worth it. “For the sake of tradition” isn’t a good enough reason to stress. I’ve learned some of these lessons through experience and I’m still learning.

My memories aren’t made of plastic toys or Christmas card photos. They’re snuggling together with a book in warm pjs. Decorating cookies without worrying if they’re picture perfect. Walking around the neighborhood looking at lights.

So this holiday season, take a load off. Enjoy the simplicity- the moments you’ll remember.

In Arizona, the grass doesn’t just grow. It takes elaborate underground irrigation systems, timers, and a lot of effort. Every winter the grass goes dormant, but if we want to enjoy our best weather on our lawn we need to plant winter grass, which involves cutting everything down to the dirt and seeding, topsoiling, and watering until we start seeing some green about a week later. In the past, Drew and I have paid a landscaper to seed our winter grass, but this year we looked around and said, “how hard could it be?”

Turns out, very hard. Drew started working on the yard at 9am and I helped as much as I could. We took turns weed-wacking down to the dirt while he seeded and raked topsoil. It took 3 trips to Lowe’s, seven hours, and about $50 more than we’d have spent on a professional, but it’s done. Two weeks later, the grass looks amazing, and it’s not the only thing getting taller around here.

The boys are both growing so quickly that I’m clutching to my Costco card in shock! Just the other day, Big Bro had a waffle, fruit and two bowls of cereal for breakfast before asking for a snack on the way to school. They eat around the clock and Baby Bro has already outgrown the cute dinosaur shoes I bought them a month ago. While it’s great to watch them get bigger, growth spurts also come with irritability, sleep interruption, and even growing pains for Big Bro, who has woken up complaining about his legs.

The silver lining is that Baby Bro can now fit into his brother’s old Vans. When I brought those adorable shoes out of storage and got to see them run and jump through the house again it made me smile. I hope they fit him for at least a few months.

Just in case you’re wondering how school is going, Big Bro brought home a 3-day spelling homework exercise with vague instructions that I later figured out I’d completely misinterpreted. In the same week, I aced my first two marketing quizzes for grad school. So, that’s where I am in my life. Passing grad classes while failing kindergarten.

When I embarked on this master’s degree adventure, I didn’t quite calculate the step I’d be taking into my ever-changing role of mom, as my son started school at the same time. Kindergarten has changed. There are assignments and folders and notebooks to remember. A big part of being a parent is also being a teacher, but for some reason I didn’t picture myself sitting at the kitchen table supervising my son writing words that rhyme with “cat” quite so soon. All I remembered about my kindergarten experience was coloring and recess.

A lot of people compare weeknights to the “second shift” for parents who work full time. When I registered for online classes, I didn’t think of it as a third shift, but as soon as they started I realized what I’d done. I work, come home and we eat dinner, play for a bit or do bath time, make sure homework is done and stories are read and songs are sung. Then, I turn on my laptop and study. The next morning I pack snacks and water bottles, Drew takes the kids to school and we do it all over again.

Before we knew it, fall break had arrived. A cross-country trip packed with fun filled activities, lots of family and friends, and a wedding in Sedona may sound like a pretty busy “break,” but I wouldn’t have it any other way. At this point, busy is kind of my specialty.

Back when Baby Bro wasn’t quite old enough to play, we heard endless tales of Happy Spider and his adventures. Big Bro’s spider showed up a couple years ago on a Sunday morning. Drew and I looked around nervously at first, before realizing that Happy Spider wasn’t the kind of spider that we could see, even though he was allegedly black with skinny legs and about the size of a 3-year-old’s hand.

Happy spider lived in the closet with his mom, dad, and baby brother. He was a pilot, a student, and for some reason he took a lot of vacations. Sometimes I overheard one-sided conversations with him while Big Bro played in his room. Sometimes he joined us on our outings. Sometimes when I asked about him, it turned out to be a silly thing to ask because of course he was off in San Diego, flying his plane.

I pictured Happy Spider with a tiny suitcase and maybe a pair of aviators. His house was real, we made it out of foam pieces and placed it on a shelf in the closet. He even had a tiny desk at my office, as my coworkers played along. I loved hearing all about Happy Spider, but I haven’t heard anything about him lately. In fact, he hasn’t been a topic of conversation for about six months.

I can only assume that Happy Spider, being a spider after all, met his fate after a long and exciting spider life. If it was a case of foul play, I would suspect Baby Bro. Happy Spider’s disappearance around the same time Baby Bro started to play independently with his older brother was no coincidence.

Either way, there seem to be no hard feelings of loss or grief at the absence of Happy Spider in our home. If anything, Drew is probably relieved.

I guess when it comes to playmates, not even an invisible spider can measure up to the love and friendship of a brother. Rest in Peace, Happy Spider. You’re with Bing Bong now.

Six months ago I had a preschooler and a toddler. Now, I have a kindergartner and a preschooler!

Baby Bro is now two and a half, and His Big Bro is five and a half. School started last week and I can’t believe how much they’ve grown and changed in just six months.

Big Bro went from training wheels to daredevil wheelies, from reading three letter words to finishing books, from simple LEGO structures to entire cities with imaginary storylines. He is a creative, confident, bright little boy with a sense of adventure and the kindest heart.

Baby Bro went from speaking in short sentences to complex conversations, from walking and running to dancing and jumping, from sweet smiles to soliciting laughs. He is an adorable, intelligent, curious little guy with a killer sense of humor and the sweetest disposition.

At 5 1/2, Big Bro loves soccer, school, cooking, pretend play, and much more. He wants to be a teacher when he grows up. He dislikes cleaning up his toys (although he loves doing dishes) and bedtime.

At 2 1/2, Baby Bro likes trains, planes, cars, music, poop jokes, and eating snacks. His big Bro is his hero. He dislikes naps, bugs, and baths that are too cold or too hot.

Big Bro shows off his cooking class creation

I love my job for many reasons, but perhaps the most important is that it allows me to have a great work/life balance. With a four-day schedule, I’m off on Fridays, and ever since Big Bro was born we’ve referred to Friday as “Mommy Day.”

On Fridays, we wake up and have a leisurely breakfast. When the weather is nice, we go to a park or on a play date with friends, and when the weather’s too hot, we usually take advantage of our local rec center and its open gym and story time for ages five and under. The last couple summers, I’ve enrolled Big Bro in kids cooking class so he has something fun and age appropriate to do while Baby Bro and I hang out in the gym playing with push toys and balls. When class is done we play for a bit, eat lunch at the pizza place down the road and go home for Baby Bro’s nap.

Big Bro and I have been doing this since he learned to walk. There was a time we frequented the pizza place so much one of the servers knew us and our order, and always ended our meal by giving my little guy a lollipop he got to choose out of a jar.

Mommy Day is my favorite day of the week. But it’s about to change.

Today, we woke up and ate a leisurely breakfast. We went to the rec center and I dropped Big Bro at his last cooking class for the summer. Baby Bro and I played in the gym and then we all went to Geno’s for a slice. All the while I soaked it in, knowing next Friday won’t be the same.

Next Friday, I’ll drop Big Bro off at kindergarten. Baby Bro and I will find something to do until it’s time to pick him up again and go home for a nap. The rest of the day will be familiar, always ending in a bedtime story and a song for as long as he’ll let me. Right now, We’re reading Winnie the Pooh House on Pooh Corner, which ends with Christopher Robin starting school and leaving his fluff-filled friends behind.

I thought it was a timely and sweet story to start reading as summer came to an end, but now I can’t help but feel like that silly old bear.

Though it’s bittersweet, I guess the new Friday routine will have its perks. With Big Bro in school, I’ll get one-on-one time with Baby Bro that we’ve never really had before.

I can start to see the next phase of parenthood on the horizon. One where diapers and pull-ups are behind us. One where my kids can both play independently for hours but still want us around. One where we can go to sports games and theme parks and movies but still do bedtime and a song. And a story. For as long as they’ll let me.