Happy Holidays!

We hope everyone had a wonderful holiday this year! We are so excited for what the new year will bring with just six weeks until our due date. Until then, we’re enjoying our time together and gearing up for the little one… literally. Baby boy received so many generous gifts this Christmas! With a new car seat, stroller, and a collection of adorable clothes, we are almost ready to bring him home, although I’m pretty sure Drew’s new least-favorite phrase is “some assembly required.” He spent half a day putting together a 3,000-piece dresser from Ikea (because you can’t be a dad until you can follow instructions in Swedish) and we still have a few more items that will require some nuts and bolts before they can be deemed safe to hold, carry or entertain our infant.

Baby boy is anxious to stretch his legs, but I think he’s going to give us the time we need to get ready for him to arrive.

The Ring of Fire

Drew and I have been attending a class for new parents with our midwife practice, and this week’s session was eye-opening to say the least. Actually, I may have preferred closing my eyes. This week we discussed the stages of labor, complete with videos.

Watching each stage of labor including the grand finale, I was also struck by how long the whole process takes. Drew and I will most likely be at home during early labor when contractions begin, managing the pain using techniques we learned in class until we can be admitted to the hospital. That stage can take anywhere from 6 to 12 hours. It sounds mind-bogglingly long, but we have a plan.

To pass the time, we will be watching The Hobbit, which I hear runs about 6 to 12 hours depending on your sound system and the megapixels in your TV. If early labor exceeds the average or The Hobbit turns out to be shorter than expected (only a slight chance when Peter Jackson’s involved) we’ll just turn it into a marathon, relieving the stress and pain with quotes like:

I figure this approach will not only provide much-needed distraction, but also motivation. If a tiny hobbit can make it to Mordor, I can get through labor.

Heartburn and a Head of Hair

I officially have 8 months of pregnancy under my very tight belt, and so far I think I’ve been very lucky with regard to symptoms. The level of discomfort since my first trimester has been minimal, minus one thing: heartburn.

I’d never had heartburn before pregnancy, but now it is non-stop. Every moment I’m not eating, my throat is burning, regardless of what I eat or drink. Finally this week, I decided to try something to make it stop.

A member of our parenting class mentioned her friend had tried a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar and that did the trick. So when I saw a bottle of apple cider vinegar in the grocery store a few days later, I bought it. How bad could it be? Vinegar’s not terrible and I love apple cider. Without any research, second opinion or second thought, I poured the vinegar into a teaspoon and swallowed.

What I felt during the next 15 seconds is nearly indescribable. I’m pretty sure what I really drank was a mislabeled bottle of gasoline or molten lava because my stomach caught on fire immediately. My eyes watered as I yelled to Drew, “This was a mistake!” and ran to the bathroom. Technically, I guess it worked because I wasn’t bothered so much by the heartburn anymore. I later researched the home remedy and it turns out, you’re supposed to dilute the vinegar. Lesson learned.

When it comes to pregnancy, there seems to be an old wives tale about everything, so of course having heartburn has significant meaning. People say that it means your baby will have a full head of hair! This common assumption may actually have more meaning than others, after a few studies have proven strong correlations.

The good news- my baby will probably be born with a thick head of dark-brown hair.

The bad news- it might stick straight up. Like mine did:

We’re going to need plenty of hats.

6 Things You Should Never Say to a Pregnant Woman

During the past 31 weeks, I’ve gained a new perspective on pregnancy, society’s expectations and treatment of expectant mothers, and so much more. I never anticipated the things I would learn about my own body and what I’m capable of, or the simple things I used to take for granted or ignore. Now, when I go places, things like proximity to a restroom and comfortable seating have to be taken into account. Simple gestures like opening a door for me or offering a chair are doubly appreciated. Many people, even strangers, are quick to offer help or a quick congratulations. Some are less sensitive. Hence, the following list I’ve compiled of statements people have actually said to me. Yes, to my face.

The Top 6 Things You Shouldn’t Say to Pregnant People:

6. “Wow! You’re huge!” To which I will respond in kind with an enthusiastic and cheerful, “Thanks! You too!” After all, it would be rude not to reciprocate.

5. “You should probably lay off the beer.” The first time I heard this joke was from a random hot dog vendor at a hockey game. And yes, I’ve heard it multiple times.

4. “We should have cast you as Santa!” This festive little gem also came from a complete stranger. Hilarious.

3. “How is she today?” Usually said as an aside to someone else in the room while I am pretty sure I’m in an obvious conscious state with the ability to hear and see the environment around me, this reference to hormonal moodiness only makes me feel like I’m some sort of dementia patient.

2. “You’ll never sleep again.” Perhaps the most common and discouraging feedback I receive. Believe it or not, our decision to have a child was very premeditated. I’m familiar with the habits of babies. Besides, isn’t not sleeping how we got into this situation? I’m confident the joys of parenthood will outweigh the dark circles under my eyes.

1. “Sorry, we’re all out.” Let’s face it, these are words no one ever wants to hear. Whether it’s your favorite latte flavor, movie tickets, or tables at a restaurant. For some reason I think when you’re pregnant they come with an extra-heavy dose of disappointment. If you refrain from using any of the above phrases, make it this one.

Over the past couple of months I’ve also acquired a few new nicknames. Some of the highlights include Prego, Preggo-Eggo, Tons-of-Fun, Mama, and my personal favorite, “Lil’ Mama,” because it makes me feel like this girl:

http://youtube.googleapis.com/v/S5ck6TJQ5Ow&source=uds

Though some of these comments and nicknames may sound offensive or hurtful, don’t start wasting any sympathy on me. Five years in broadcast journalism gave me a very thick skin. I’ve been called much worse, and I am positive that all of the above were said out of love and support for someone they know is snarky enough to laugh it off and post it on a blog afterwards. Tons-of-Fun? It made me laugh the hardest. 🙂

Guilt-free Thanksgiving

It’s always been one of my favorite holidays, but this year I had the rare opportunity to enjoy Thanksgiving in a way I never had before– wearing maternity pants.

In what has become perhaps the most well-timed pregnancy in history, this year’s holiday season coincides with my third trimester. Bring on the turkey, the stuffing, the Christmas cookies, and the cocoa. I’m actually supposed to be gaining a pound a week. Don’t worry, I’ll throw some veggies into the mix, but can I really be blamed if our little boy ends up with one big sweet tooth?

Another benefit of being pregnant during the holidays- I get to make the “I think I ate too much” joke at least once every family gathering. Overall, it’s a great time of year to be “eating for two.” I’m not sure if I’ll ever get to experience it like this again. I’m certainly going to enjoy it while I can.

And, I might have to make a tradition out of the maternity pants.

Photo Shoot

Engagements and weddings are the kinds of moments you want to capture and hold on to forever, but more recently, the adventure of pregnancy has become a popular moment on that list as well, with countless couples opting for professional photo shoots to immortalize their baby while it’s still easy to get it to pose for a camera.

I’m not going to lie, I think most maternity photos are weird. When I think about them, images like this one come to mind:

No offense to this lovely couple or to anyone who chooses to do them, I’m sure you all look fabulous, but there’s something about taking photos with my husband as we stare wistfully at my stomach that just seems a bit forced. Maybe it’s because I’m used to a person’s face being the focal point of photos. Maybe it’s because it’s just not completely our style. Maybe it’s because on my wedding day I felt so beautiful I wanted visual proof of it for the future, and right now not so much.

Well, we did it anyway.

After looking at photo shoots on facebook and Pinterest (the most lethal of creative inspiration) Drew and I decided we should give it a try. How often do you get the opportunity? I did insist that we spend no money or extra effort, in the event that they turned out to be worthy of Awkwardfamilyphotos.com. Here’s a sample of the final product, shot by Drew’s tripod at a park down the street:

The Third Trimester Begins

Yesterday, Drew, the baby and I had our 28 week appointment. This marks a pretty big milestone in pregnancy because it’s the start of the third and final trimester- the home-stretch. In about three more months we will be holding our first child!

But before that happens, medical professionals like to test new parents-to-be by having them go through a series of challenges. The first 28-week challenge was one I’d heard about from formerly-pregnant friends and relatives, who must have satisfied the medical professionals’ standards because they are all now parents. It’s called the gestational diabetes screening. For some women, hormones in pregnancy cause insulin resistance, which makes it harder to process sugar. The test requires drinking an extremely sweet, tang-like drink, waiting an hour, and then giving away some of your blood so they can send it to a lab. (one of my very least favorite things)

From all of the accounts I’d heard, I was expecting to have to chug some sort of disgusting concoction that would be hard to keep down. Maybe it’s because I was an avid kool-aide drinker as a child, or because when given the choice my regular diet would consist of 90 percent sugar, but I found the drink absolutely delicious! It was no problem to defeat challenge #1: disgusting drink, and move on to the second challenge which I believe was specifically designed for people who defeated the first with too much ease, and have a paralyzing fear of needles.

My blood type is A negative. That means it doesn’t have something called an RH factor, which I would try to explain more specifically if the last biology class I’d taken was more recent than 10 years ago. Basically, if my blood mixes with my baby’s blood (like during labor) my body would see it as a foreign body and attack it. Usually this doesn’t pose a problem with a first child, but could impact all subsequent pregnancies. How do the medical professionals fix it? By sticking a big needle in my right hip. While Drew’s hand may be a little worse for the wear from my grip during the RhoGAM shot, I defeated the second task.

The great thing about this challenge-laden appointment is the ultrasound. I’m still amazed at what technology allows us to see and hear in there. This week, our baby boy is measuring about a week ahead of schedule at 3lbs 2oz. After 14 weeks, all babies grow at their own pace so this doesn’t mean he will come out a week early, although I wouldn’t protest.

Drew and I got to see his brain, his spine, the bones in his legs, and other indicators of his growth that all show he’s a healthy baby. He’s in the correct position for labor, so we hope he stays that way for the next three months.

While we were looking around in there, our baby boy showed a little of his personality, knocking right back at the ultrasound tech with his tiny balled up fists, and even smiling a little, which we tried to catch in this 3-d image. Seeing his face for the first time only makes me want to meet him sooner, but we’ll let him cook a little while longer.

The Vanishing Lap

I feel I have finally come to terms with my changing body shape and am learning to take all that comes with it in stride… even the increasing difficulty of simple tasks like putting on socks and shoes, which now requires some sort of stabilization crutch like a nearby dresser, chair, or husband.

Our dog Max, however, is still adjusting. His favorite resting place is slowly shrinking.

He’s learned that he can no longer bound across the room and onto my lap or jump up and push me with his paws as soon as I walk in the door, which were probably good habits to break anyway, but now as soon as the poor guy finds a comfortable position to nap that also accommodates baby’s space, he has to reevaluate a week or so later as I continue growing. Or should I say, as the baby continues growing.

If Max does encroach a little too closely, baby responds with a swift kick. Not even out of the womb and he’s already defending his space. Of course, this battle for my lap has resulted in a few new napping positions you see below:

And, my personal favorite, the “Forget it, I’ll sit with dad.”

Happy Halloween!

In the adult world, Halloween has become a holiday of revealing costumes and crazy parties, where women usually go as the “sexy version” of an otherwise scary creature, cute animal or occupation. Sexy nurses, cats, witches, even zombies roam the night, and while in previous years I’ve never really fully embraced the “sexy version” culture, you’d be hard-pressed to find any costume in a store that doesn’t. One walk through Party City and I realized this year would be a great one to go home-made, and even embrace the complete opposite. So I transformed into the least sexy and “the most harmless thing. Something that could never ever possibly destroy us.” Mr. Stay Puft.

Drew went along as a Ghostbuster and the costumes went over very well! We even carved the Ghostbusters logo into our pumpkin. I had looked through a few maternity-inspired costumes online (bun in the oven, zombie babies, skeleton t-shirts complete with a skeleton of the fetus.) I wanted something that showcased the baby bump without creeping me out, so when Drew suggested a Ghostbuster and the marshmallow man as a joke, it quickly became a reality! We got a lot of compliments at his co-worker’s party from the sexy witches.

http://youtube.googleapis.com/v/d-sALU_hveA&source=uds

Nesting

He knew this day would come. The day I opened the door to his “man-cave,” shook my head and said, “This has to go.”

Since the gender reveal Drew and I have been hard at work dismantling the sports memorabilia, film equipment and boxes upon boxes of wires that every tech guy seems to acquire, and slowly transforming our spare room into a more welcoming space for a baby, with fewer choking hazards.

Thanks to family and friends, we already have a lot of the essential equipment: a crib, changing table, swings, etc. We’re finding that babies are a lot like Apple products. They’re pretty cool on their own, but they come with a lot of additional accessories. Unlike Apple products, some take a lot of work to assemble.

With the main furniture in place, our little nest looks impressive and almost complete in photos, provided I take said photo while balancing on top of a pile of junk in the opposite corner of the room. It’s a work in progress.

*A quick product endorsement* The wall decal is from http://www.popdecors.com. You can order custom colors, they’re easy to apply, removable, and ship very quickly!